


summer fever dream

by TAKIPSlLIM



Category: Thai Actor RPF
Genre: M/M, Tay Tawan-centric, lots of introspection, new is a retired actor, tay is an actor-singer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:35:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25955326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TAKIPSlLIM/pseuds/TAKIPSlLIM
Summary: everything in life came with a price, and tay might just be willing to risk it all.(or tay tawan, global superstar, spends the last two months of his summer back home, and ends up finding someone who might just be worth the risk.)
Relationships: New Thitipoom Techaapaikhun/Tay Tawan Vihokratana
Comments: 9
Kudos: 69





	summer fever dream

everything in life came with a price. tay knows that. those years ago, the first time he stood on stage, he knew. 

after all, at that time, his insistence on joining the talent show hosted by their school, despite his parents' complete disdain for it, earned him a slap on the wrist. 

but it was worth it. that talent show was his stepping stone. who knew there were actual talent scouts attending these things? 

twenty years later, that young boy who had a dream of singing in front of hundreds of people is now admired by millions. his songs are heard on the radio everywhere, and his face is on every possible advertising platform in the world. 

in short, tay tawan is a superstar. 

but at what cost? 

* * *

he's always found it amusing, thrilling even. being in relationships does. falling in love isn't easy, he knows that. but there's something about the process, how different it feels each time. 

and each time, each relationship, is an experience that translates to a story, to a song. 

it's funny how people often peg him as a heartbreaker, when in reality, he's the one who always gets his heart broken. he's painted as something he isn't, but he guesses it's his fault. 

after all, he's in his private studio. after wallowing in a hole of self-pity for three weeks after joss way-ar, his co-star in one of his last projects and boyfriend of seven months broke up with him through a phone call from halfway across the globe, he dug himself out of that hole. 

"the song's really good," arm, his manager slash stylist slash voice of reason, starts, pausing for a bit, trying to think of the right words, "it feels a lot like how you two were." 

tay scoffs. of course, it does. that was the point. 

"you’re scheduled to release the album after the summer, then you're touring again. will you be okay?" arm asks, handing him a cup of black tea with honey, his go-to drink in the studio. 

tay knows the question is coming from a good place. arm and off have seen it all. arm has been part of his team as his stylist for around seven years, and he's been his manager too for the past two years. and off has been his best friend ever since that sitcom they were in when they were fourteen. 

they've seen it all. 

the girlfriends, the boyfriends. 

the romance, the heartbreak. 

all of it, amidst the spotlight that seems to follow him wherever he goes, that intrudes on even the most private moments, they've seen it all. 

"i should be." he answers truthfully. 

he should be. there are songs that still need to be recorded, maybe even rewritten. the tour dates will be released in a couple of months, and it'll be his biggest one yet. he has two series and a star-studded movie coming up too. 

and there just so much on his plate. 

when the summer passes, tay will be thrown into a whirlwind of concerts and shoots and events. and if things go right, his career will reach another peak. 

he should be ready. and he will be. 

* * *

the warmth of summer reminds him of home. tay grew up in a home wherein he and his siblings always had room to play. they had a huge garden, and summers often involved fighting over who gets to stay in their inflatable pool even though they had a full-sized swimming pool. 

so that's where he decides to spend the rest of his summer, at home in bangkok. 

"i told you to come home more often, but you prefer your mansion in california more now, don't you?" his mother says teasingly as she envelopes him in the warmest of hugs. 

"you know i prefer being home with you, right? but the flights take too long." he whines needlessly. 

he took a private jet, and he shouldn't even be complaining. but regardless of what plane he rides, the flight from los angeles to bangkok takes at least eighteen hours. 

his mother laughs affectionately, ruffling his hair the way she always did, "i know, and i'd visit you there more often. but i have to take care of a lot of things here…" 

"mae, don't worry about me too much. i'm here now, aren't i?" 

lunch at home is always a grand occassion, even when he was younger and both his grandparents still lived in the city with them. there would always be too much food to consume. 

tay kind of wishes off and arm were there with him to fill the empty seats. but the warm conversation he had with his mother was enough to fill in the gap that his siblings left. his older sister is in paris, and his younger brother is in japan. 

he sees them more often, usually having quick dinners whenever they'd find themselves in the same cities. 

"how long are you staying?" his mother asks after they finished a plate of mango sticky rice.

"two months." 

he thought about it, savoring one of the first free summer he's had in years by touring the beach towns of south east asia. but something tells him that staying in thailand for two months, until the warm humid days turn into cold rainy days, would do him good. 

* * *

the one question tay tawan is always asked, be it a magazine interview or a tv show guesting, is "how do you find love?" and well, every other permutation of that question. 

to which he answers, usually jokingly, "i don't look for love. love always finds me." 

but there's always a grain of truth in these jokes. because in reality, tay doesn't really go out and meet people with the purpose of looking for a relationship. no, not really. 

it just so happens that he's always at the right place at the right time. 

tay's first girlfriend, mild, was off's leading lady in his first full-length series. and off barely even managed to drag him to the after-party of the very successful series that catapulted off to household fame where he met mild. they were together for a year. 

tay's first boyfriend, lee, was the photographer for arm's first clothing brand launch. and he, of course, was one of the models for the print ads that came with it. he and lee were together for 9 months.

love seems to find him wherever he goes. and it was all fun and games, until one of his movies launched him to global stardom. and with his increasing fame, every single one of these relationships seem to become a public matter. 

and he hates it. 

he hates how the people seem to think they have a say on who he dates. and with celebrities, it's somehow easier, because they know how it feels. they've been through it, and being scrutinized by the public isn't exactly something unfamiliar. 

but when he dates non-celebrities, it often becomes a game of hide and seek, with him trying his best to not get caught, not get photographed. 

so when he enters the cafe one of their younger helpers at home suggested to him, he felt the sudden urge to turn around and walk away. 

"welcome to bowiee cafe, how may i help you?" 

* * *

he's in bowiee cafe again. it's the fifth time this week he's here, and he's probably ordered everything on the menu at this point. 

because as lady luck would have it, tay tawan was, once again, at the right place at the right time. 

and tay doesn't even believe in love at first sight, but that is exactly what this is. 

love at first sight.

and an unhealthy fascination with who seems to be the owner of this small cafe nestled on the twelth floor of a hotel in bangkok. 

over the past few days, he's learned a couple of things. 

bowiee cafe only serves desserts, ice cream, and a limited selection of coffee.

this is their third location since the cafe's first conception. 

and the cafe was owned by one new thitipoom, a retired actor that he should have met those years ago when he was still active as an actor in thailand but didn't.

plus, new thitipoom is gorgeous, and tay is absolutely fucked. 

* * *

"new thitipoom? he's a friend. he was a guest actor in one of the series i did years ago." 

off's plane landed just a couple of hours ago, and the first thing he asks tay when he reaches their house is who was the inspiration for the song he sent to their group chat the night before. 

which led to this conversation, with him eventually admitting he wrote the song for someone he met here in bangkok. 

"what, so we were actually active at the same time?" he asked in disbelief. 

because no matter how big the showbiz industry in thailand seems, it's still small enough that you could have at least met everyone at one point or another. 

and the fact that new thitipoom had been in the same project with one of his best friends seems enough of a connection for them to have met at least once. 

and tay would remember, how could he forget a face like that? 

"yeah. you want me to introduce you? i can't believe no one has realized tay tawan, worldwide superstar, has been visiting the same cafe for five day straight." 

tay's face lights up immediately, and off just rolls his eyes. 

tay usually had no problems with striking up a conversation with people he likes. well, he guess he's gotten used to being approcahed first now that he realizes it. 

there's a voice at the back of his head the tells him that he's only setting himself up for a potential heartbreak. 

he knows he just has to try harder, to keep everything to himself. because that's what usually ends his relationships, his partners couldn't handle the scrutiny of being the other half of someone who's affairs are up for debate by the public. 

and what’s the use of being scared? 

maybe, after all the heartbreak he's been through, new thitipoom is summer's gift to him. 

* * *

"what? of course, i knew. i just didn't want the staff to know, in case you wanted your privacy." 

when off promised to help him meet new properly, tay didn't realize that meant they were having dinner at off's penthouse apartment, alone with each other. 

but off jumpol is a good friend, and not only did he graciously lend them his apartment, he also made sure they had good food and wine to accompany them. 

"oh. i thought the disguises i wore were pretty good." he mused, quite interested at how new managed to figure out it was him behind the elaborate, borderline costume outfits he wore every time he visited the cafe. 

"you didn't hide your eyes well enough." new quips, a slight smile on his lips. 

tay wanted to ask him more, but he didn't want to pry. it's their first time meeting each other, after all. 

tay has done his digging. and it's been more than a year since new bid his acting career goodbye, after a fantastic movie that tay cried over a couple of nights ago. 

there have been several speculations about why new thitipoom suddenly cut his blossoming career short, but none of the articles tay read gave him a definitive answer. 

and tay was intrigued, very much so. 

why an actor at the peak of his career would suddenly withdraw and shy away from everything he had been working so hard for was one of the questions circling his mind. 

still, he didn't want to pry. because the conversation has been going well, and he's afraid he's gotten too comfortable for his own good. 

"is it okay to ask you a question?" new suddenly says, pausing to take a sip of the white wine in his glass.

tay nods before he could even register the question, alluding to the possibility that the man before him already has him wrapped around his finger. a thought he tries to get rid of, because even though he's a hopeless romantic. he acknowledges that there are possible dangers in answering questions from people he's never met before. 

because he may be smitten, but he's already learned his lesson the hard way. 

so he raises his guard up, just a little, just to make sure. 

"should i expect to hear a song about me then?" 

* * *

the question should have stung more, but new brushed it off too quickly for him to recognize the question, much less give it an answer. and even if it did, it simply left tay with a lingering question about how he's perceived by people outside his circle. 

do people really think he dates with the intent of turning the experience and the story into a song? did people really think that lowly of him? 

and if they did, does he care enough to do something about it? 

after spending an entire night lying restlessly on his childhood bed, tay came to the conclusion that he doesn't actually give a damn what other people think. because he knows that no matter how hard he tries, he could never really please everybody. 

however, he also came to the painful realization that he does care about what new thinks. very much. 

so after bugging arm, who was timezones away in new york, to help him think of his next move. he stared at his phone for an ungodly amount of time, trying to formulate a message that would encompass everything he wanted to say without being too forward. 

new was everything tay didn't expect to need but does. 

new was funny and witty, surprising tay with the kind of humor that matches his. 

they were similar enough to click, but they have more differences to keep the other guessing. 

and guess was what tay did. how should he gauge the response of someone who, albeit sharing much about his career, past and present, felt so far away. 

tay wants to get to know new more. and against his better judgement, he wants to see where this will go. and a tiny part of him finds this so absurd, because he's only been in bangkok for two weeks, and in those two weeks, he's managed to both avoid the public and maybe sort of fall in love. 

and tay's been through a lot of crazy things, but this surely takes the cake. 

speaking of cake, one of new's favorite desserts. yes, of course. 

he remembers. he remembers too much, if he were to be completely honest. 

he remembers that new was born in bangkok but was raised in yala province. he knows that new took up engineering for his undergraduate degree, because new loved math in high school and wanted to take up something that wasn't just numbers but the application of it. he knows that new opened bowiee cafe while he was still an actor, because he wanted to make something out of what he loved. 

tay clinged on to every bit of information new had divulged, and he honestly thinks he might be losing it, but maybe he's just really, really smitten. 

either way, when his phone finally pings, twice for that matter, he almost falls off of his bed. 

> **[14:43] tawan_v**
> 
> i'm not sure if you meant it as a joke, but i've been thinking about it since you left off's apartment the other night. 
> 
> and i hope you don't think whatever we have is just a song in the making. 
> 
> it isn't, not exactly. but my songs are written when i'm inspired, and love is one of the things that inspires me the most.
> 
> and it's too early to say this is love, but i like you a lot.

> **[15:24] newwiee**
> 
> hi tay. i'm sorry. i shouldn't have said that. it's just that, i couldn't shake this feeling off.
> 
> i've heard a lot about you. and i’m sure most of them aren't true, but it isn't easy to get them out of my head. 
> 
> i mean, who would have thought i'd have you… of all people, walk into my cafe and eventually ask me out on a date.
> 
> you're way too out of my league, tay tawan. but that doesn't mean i don't like you. because i do, more than i'd like to admit. 

* * *

tay's lucky he hasn't been spotted in bangkok, and part of that is due to the fact that everyone who follows his social media accounts were led to believe that he's still in california. 

part of his team's plan to protect his privacy while he's in thailand for the summer, aside from the security detail that tailed him wherever he went (yes, there were two big men that tailed him when he decided to visit bowiee five times), was to make people think he was still in his los angeles home. 

and well, it's worked for a month, until arm started seeing the fan theories. 

he's on the phone with arm, who's filling him in on the current situation online. 

"most of them think you're in new york with me, and that's fine. the fact that i'm here helps, but there are speculations you're in thailand, because of that one instagram story off posted where your hand was seen." 

tay scratches his head, still in disbelief that people can actually recognize him despite the split second appearance in the lowest possible quality ever. 

then again, he's been in the industry for twenty years. he should be used to this, but somehow, he still isn't. 

"so what's the plan?" he asks, already thinking of his plans with new that might be affected by the changes that this situation will bring. 

it's been two weeks since they exchanged those messages on instagram. and since then, tay has spent every single day either at one of the hidden corners of bowiee cafe where new slipped him a cup of coffee every couple of hours as he waited for the cafe to close so he can walk its owner home to his apartment that was two blocks away or at home where he stayed locked up in his studio, making changes to songs lined up for his album or writing new ones that are inspired by a certain someone. 

and those songs, tay simply wants to write, sing, and lock up forever. 

because he's scared he'll only turn new away, and that's the last thing he wants. 

"i want you to lie low for a bit, no going out for a week. we'll make-up some distractions, release the album pre-order earlier, i guess? then i can arrange to have you at a private villa in sri panwa for a bit over a week until you have to fly back, you wanted to visit the beach, right?"

it takes a moment for everything to sink-in, and tay knows he doesn't have a choice. his tour has been projected to sell-out in a few minutes, and his album is one of the most awaited ones this year. and just, there's so much on his plate. there are so many opportunities for him to take everything a step further, and there isn't any time left to waste. 

three weeks. 

three weeks are all that's left of this summer, and tay is determined to make the most out of it.

* * *

"can i think about it for a bit? i still have to find someone to manage the store while i'm gone, if i do go..." 

as soon as his phone call with arm ended, with the latter reminding him to be mindful of his surroundings, he pondered on the rationality of asking new to come to sri panwa with him. 

the more rational part of him thinks that everything is moving too quickly, even for his own standards. and those standards are pretty low. tay falls in love almost as quick as the change in fashion trends, as arm would always say. 

and once again, tay has fallen too hard, too fast. and he knows arm had something to say about whatever is brewing between him and new. but he knows arm well enough to realize that with this trip and everything that has resulted from it, arm was speaking from the point of view of a friend, not of his manager. 

and he's thankful, because arm, despite being understanding and thoughtful, could sometimes be stricter than his father. and that's saying something. 

so he's grateful for the breathing room, a bit of space for him to think for himself. 

if he were to be honest, he feels like this trip has made him forget a bit of who he has been the past five years since his career catapulted into heights none of them ever imagined. 

being home without being followed by legions of screaming fans and nosy paparazzis feels so refreshing. and for the first time in his entire life, tay wonders if all the sacrifices he's made were all worth it. 

"okay. i'll wait, no worries. have you eaten?" he asks, trying to divert the conversation into safer territory. 

because he knows, the question he popped might as well be, "will you be my boyfriend?", it's that big of a deal. 

and no matter how much he wants to spend those remaining days with new, if new still felt uncomfortable, then he would never take that against him. 

"i haven't. it's been busy at the cafe. we have a lot of bulk orders this week, so i'm in the kitchen helping." new replies, and if tay tried to concentrate, he can actually picture new at that very moment.

tay imagines new in that white apron he always wears in the cafe, working his way around the kitchen with practiced ease. and tay's heart swells at the idea alone. 

and he knows, that at this point, he's fucked. 

he's so smitten, and there's no saving him. he's in love. 

  
  


* * *

"what? you're eating ice cream before the meal?" 

tay swipes the spoon and the cup from new's grasp before using his thumb to wipe off the ice cream on new's lower lip. 

it's been five days. five days since they've arrived in sri panwa. and when arm said that he took care of everything, he really did take care of everything. despite there being multiple villas, arm made it a point to reserve everything so only the two of them (and well, his security detail and the staff) were in the area. 

arm even divulged that the staff were made to sign non-disclosure agreements to keep everything under the wraps. and tay has nothing but thanks for arm and his entire team for making all of these happen. 

new laughs, trying to reach for the cup that tay placed on the other side of the table, "why are you taking it away? there's like a spoonful left." 

"yeah, now you've spoiled your appetite for dinner." he whines, pouting for good measure. 

new jokingly pinches tay's nose from across the table and laughs again, his eyes sparkling under the yellow fluorescent lights of their villa's enormous kitchen, "you should know by now that nothing spoils my appetite." 

there's a sexual joke in there that tay refuses to acknowledge. but for what it's worth, tay can attest to the fact that nothing really spoils new's appetite. 

they eat their dinner in a comfortable silence, and tay can't help but think about how much new has changed his perspective on things. 

his last relationship that ended months ago was arguably the craziest one he's been in. tay doesn't usually date his co-stars, especially those he's paired with onscreen. 

because the lines blur too easily that way, but joss was hard to resist, and tay was attracted in more ways than one. arm and off had repeatedly warned him to keep the details of their relationships away from the public, but they became too showy. 

instagram couple posts, random paparazzi spotting them at bars and restaurants, dark blurry shots of stolen kisses. 

almost every single aspect of their relationship aside from what actually happens behind closed doors was available for public consumption, and it hurt both of them more than they expected. 

because joss was still based in thailand, and once their project and its promotions ended, they had to be apart. it was hard. and in the end, it's tay who's gotten his heart broken again. 

back then, he didn't care about what kind of information the public has on his relationships. he thought that there wasn't a point in hiding, when everyone was bound to know at some point.

but now, in this secluded villa in his home country and a tighter security detail than he initially wanted, tay can't help but think if he had been doing it wrong all this time. 

that he could actually keep things to himself. that he could actually keep new's bright smiles and precious laughs to himself. 

he never realized until now, that new is in his life, that privacy is something he's willing to pay the price for. 

* * *

"thank you for bringing me here, tay." 

there out on the deck that holds the infinity pool and oversees the beach. they can clearly see the countless stars in the sky, and tay feels like time had run on too quickly. 

because it's their last night in sri panwa, and in three days, he'll be flying back to los angeles, in time for the end of summer, and the beginning of the rainy season in thailand. 

tay remembers how his mother often said that you never really get to know someone until you live with them, and tay finally understands what she meant. 

because had they not gone on this trip, tay would never see just from those secret dinners and late night video calls how new fit into his life almost too perfectly. 

and tay still can't believe it's possible to find someone who, in the most cliche of cliches, completes you in every sense of the word. 

what he lacks in basic street smarts, new fills. what new lacks in being able to take care of his health, tay fills. 

there's so much he’s learned from being with new for ten days, and tay just wants to learn more about new and about the endless possibilities of where their relationship would go. 

there are warring voices in his head that sound awfully like his best friends, debating on where he should take this relationship that they've built. 

"i should be the one thanking you, you know. thank you for spending the past few days with me." 

he takes new's hand, and he intertwines their fingers. from his periphery, he sees new smile.

there are so many ways this could go, but no matter how tay looks at it, there's only one ending he wants. 

but does new want the same thing? 

he glances at new. they're seated closely, and tay feels the warmth from where their legs touch. new has this faraway look in his eyes, and tay can’t help but stare at his face, not when he looks so peaceful and content.

tay isn't going to lie. he's watched every single project new starred in while he was lazing at home. and even after scrolling through hundreds, maybe thousands of photos of new, tay can firmly say that none of them do him justice. 

because even while he's barefaced like this, new looks so… unreal.

tay knows everything in life comes with a price, and if this is what he'd get in return, tay is willing to risk it all. 

* * *

_3 years later…_

"have you read the headlines?" 

tay laughs, resting his head on new's lap. he has read them. arm sent them to him first thing in the morning. he feels new stroke his hair, and he sighs in contentment. 

it's been three years, and for the first time, he and new grace the news. 

**_actor-singer, worldwide icon, tay tawan is reportedly engaged to former thai actor new thitipoom._ **

**Author's Note:**

> um hello,,, i wrote this entire fic in a day, and i'm still in shock lol 
> 
> at first, this fic was supposed to be inspired by the lyrics of cruel summer by taylor swift (intended to be a bit angsty?) but a bit of digging inspired me to write something like this!!! 
> 
> thank you for reading! i hope you liked it!


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